Autumn’s Invitation

November settles in as a quiet pathway between autumn’s brilliance and winter’s rest. The air sharpens, daylight shortens, and we are nudged to slow down. Here in Howard County, places like Centennial Park, the Robinson Nature Center, or the Howard County Conservancy (about a mile from Bethany’s campus) offer spaces where the falling leaves and hushed woods remind us of life’s natural rhythms—letting go, resting, and preparing for renewal.

As Thanksgiving nears, many experience both joy and strain. Holiday gatherings can bring gratitude and laughter, yet also stir grief, stress, or old family tensions. Community traditions—like visiting a local farm, browsing Ellicott City shops, lunching with friends, or volunteering at a nearby event—can anchor us in connection and remind us that we are not alone.

Emotionally and spiritually, November invites us to create a state of mind rooted in gratitude and release. Naming small daily blessings, spending quiet time outdoors, or practicing forgiveness helps us shed old burdens, much like the trees shedding their leaves. By embracing this rhythm, we make space for peace, preparing our hearts for the holidays and the new season ahead.

Dr. Tom Swisher is a counselor, professor emeritus at Stevenson University, and author of “Family Dynamics: Transforming the Hidden Patterns That Shape Us.” Reach Tom in confidence at swishtom@gmail.com or 443-996-6659.

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Embracing the Season of Change

October ushers in the beauty of fall—the crisp air, the turning leaves, and the earlier evenings that invite us to slow down. As the seasons shift, we are reminded that change is a natural part of life. Just as the trees release their leaves, we too are invited to let go of what no longer serves us and prepare our hearts for the months ahead. Fall whispers a gentle truth: endings make way for new beginnings.

This season also brings anticipation. The holidays are not far away, carrying with them both joy and challenge. For some, these gatherings are moments of warmth and connection; for others, they stir grief, loneliness, or old conflicts. One way to create a healthier state of mind as we enter this season is to pause and cultivate gratitude for the present moment. Naming even small blessings—a conversation with a friend, a warm drink, or the beauty of autumn’s colors—grounds us and strengthens our resilience for what is to come.

Psychologically and spiritually, fall invites us to embrace rhythm and balance. Remember that “To everything there is a season.” By leaning into the gifts of this season—rest, reflection, and preparation—we position ourselves to welcome the holidays with open hearts rather than anxious ones. Setting aside time for prayer, journaling, or simply walking outside can anchor us in peace.

Dr. Tom Swisher is a counselor, professor emeritus at Stevenson University, and author of “Family Dynamics: Transforming the Hidden Patterns That Shape Us.” Reach Tom in confidence at swishtom@gmail.com or 443-996-6659.

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Dr. Tom Swisher briefly reviews the topics covered in his successful new book: Family Dynamics

Available on Amazon Here

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Dr. Swisher’s New Book – Family Dynamics: Transforming the Hidden Patterns That Shape Us

Aloha Publishing is excited to announce the release of Family Dynamics by Thomas Swisher, J.D., Ph.D.

This powerful new book helps you uncover the hidden patterns that shape how you live, love, work, and lead. With wisdom from 30+ years of counseling and mediation, Dr. Swisher offers a compassionate roadmap for:

 ✔️ Understanding family roles that influence us for a lifetime

 ✔️ Using genograms (family maps) to reveal hidden connections

 ✔️ Navigating boundaries, estrangement, and unspoken rules

 ✔️ Finding clarity and healing across generations

 👉 Order your copy today and start transforming your family story or at https://a.co/d/5AImaiV

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Cultivating Gentleness

Gentleness

Gentleness is the quiet strength of treating others and oneself with care, respect, and understanding. It is not a weakness but a deliberate choice to approach life with patience and compassion, even in moments of conflict or difficulty. In relationships, gentleness creates a space where vulnerability can flourish, fostering trust and deeper connection.

Cultivating gentleness begins with self-awareness and emotional regulation, allowing us to respond rather than react. It is expressed through kind words, considerate actions, and the ability to listen without judgment. Gentleness also involves extending the same grace to oneself and practicing self-compassion during times of failure or struggle.

Here are several affirmations worth practicing:

“I choose to respond with patience and understanding.”

“I speak to myself and others with kindness and care.”

“I honor my emotions and express them gently.”

“I give myself grace when I make mistakes.”

“I create peace in my relationships through thoughtful words and actions.”

“I treat myself and others with the tenderness we deserve.”

“I am strong enough to be gentle.”

“I nurture a calm and compassionate heart.”

“I offer forgiveness to myself and others with a gentle spirit.”

“I find strength in approaching life with softness and love.”

Dr. Thomas Swisher is a licensed counselor and Professor Emeritus at Stevenson University where he teaches courses in counseling and positive psychology. Reach him in confidence at 443-996-6659 or swishtom@gmail.com.

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Grief Support Group Starting September 2025

🌿 Healing Hearts – Grief Support Group 🌿

Join a caring and supportive group where you can share your journey, listen to others, and begin to heal. Healing Hearts provides a compassionate, judgment-free space for individuals grieving.

🗓 Meets Monthly: 1st Saturday of each month
🕙 Time: 10:00–11:30 a.m.
📆 Duration: 6 months — Starting Saturday, September 6th
🤝 Format: Open, facilitated sharing
🏠 Location: Private office behind Bethany’s Chapel
💰 Cost: Free of charge

Whether your loss is recent or long ago, you are welcome here.

To reserve your spot or learn more, contact:
Dr. Tom Swisher
📞 443-996-6659
📧 swishtom@gmail.com

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Dr. Swisher Awarded Honorary Professor Emeritus Status

https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxqQEjgy_kMNgcW_2iwzHt9xzlDX_sIPXj?si=s1GpBUmHqY51UeoJ

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Kindness

Research shows that practicing kindness benefits recipients and enhances the well-being of the giver. It releases “feel-good hormones” like oxytocin and reduces stress levels. Studies link kindness to stronger social connections, increased life satisfaction, and improved mental health.

Kindness is a bridge that connects people, reminding us of our shared humanity. Intentionally practicing kindness creates environments where individuals and communities can thrive. Among the many ways we can express kindness, here are a few:

  • Active Listening: Giving someone your full attention during a conversation without interruption or judgment.
  • Random Acts: Performing simple, thoughtful actions like holding the door for a stranger, paying for someone’s coffee, or leaving a kind note for a coworker.
  • Volunteering: Dedicating time to support causes or organizations that help others, such as food banks, animal shelters, or community clean-ups.
  • Celebrating Others’ Success: Acknowledging and celebrating the achievements of friends, family, or colleagues without envy or comparison.

Kindness creates a ripple effect, inspiring acts of generosity and understanding. Spread some today!

Dr. Thomas Swisher is a licensed counselor and a professor at Stevenson University where he teaches courses in counseling and positive psychology. Reach him in confidence at 443-996-6659 or swishtom@gmail.com.

Copyright 2025 T. Swisher

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Forbearance

Forbearance is the ability to endure difficulties with patience, self-control, and understanding. It reflects strength in responding thoughtfully rather than impulsively, particularly in frustrating situations. Rooted in empathy and emotional regulation, forbearance fosters healthy relationships and personal growth by allowing space for reflection and reconciliation.

Cultivating forbearance requires recognizing and managing emotional triggers. It involves developing tolerance for discomfort, reframing challenges as opportunities, and maintaining compassion for oneself and others.

Acts of forbearance—such as choosing forgiveness, refraining from harsh judgment, or withholding retaliatory actions—demonstrate resilience and a commitment to harmony over conflict. Ultimately, forbearance is not about passivity but about consciously exercising strength and grace in the face of adversity.

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Finding Your Sense of Peace

Peace is more than the absence of conflict; it is a state of inner calm and balance that fosters clarity and resilience. It arises from acceptance, self-awareness, and gracefully navigating life’s uncertainties.

Spirituality often plays a crucial role in cultivating peace, offering a sense of connection to something more significant. It provides meaning and comfort through life’s challenges. True peace is cultivated by setting healthy boundaries and practicing spiritual openness. Peace is nurtured when we align our values and seek harmony in ourselves and in relationships.

While external chaos may challenge it, peace is an active process of returning to a centered state. It reminds us of our capacity to find strength even in turbulent times. Disciplines like prayer, yoga, or reflective reading can offer a sense of purpose, connection, and inner tranquility. Spending time outdoors – walking, gardening, or simply observing nature, promotes relaxation and a sense of serenity.

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