November invites us to consider the blessings in our lives. Yet for many people, Thanksgiving also brings an awareness of what or who is missing. An empty chair, a strained relationship, declining health, or an unexpected life change can make gratitude feel complicated.

We sometimes imagine that being thankful means setting aside sadness. But gratitude and grief are not opposites. They can occupy the same heart.

We can be thankful for years shared with someone we miss and still ache because that person is no longer beside us. We can appreciate the family members gathered around the table while grieving a relationship that remains distant. We can recognize life’s goodness without pretending that life is easy.

This Thanksgiving, perhaps we can make room for both gratitude and grief. We might name something for which we are thankful and something that remains painful. We might share a memory of someone who is absent or reach out to a person who may be lonely.

Authentic gratitude does not cover over suffering. It helps us notice that even within sorrow, love and goodness remain. When we allow gratitude and grief to sit together, each becomes more honest, and our hearts become more compassionate toward ourselves and others.

Dr. Tom Swisher is a counselor, professor emeritus at Stevenson University, and author of “Family Dynamics: Transforming the Hidden Patterns That Shape Us.” Reach Tom in confidence at swishtom@gmail.com or 443-996-6659.