The irony of today’s technology is that it connects us with more people, more often than ever before, and yet feelings of loneliness and isolation are higher than ever! Turns out that good old fashioned face-to-face friendships are essential to our overall well-being. Friendships tend to improve mood, reduce stress and depression, increase support, and boost self-esteem.
Good friends are hard to find. Good friends make you feel better just by being with them. They accept you for your true self. True friends are supportive, respectful, and trustworthy. One of the best ways to have a friend is to be a good friend by focusing more on your friend than yourself and listening with curiosity and compassion.
If you’re in search of a good friend, here are some ways you might find one: volunteering, joining a club, walking your dog and greeting other dog walkers, re-exploring your community as if you were a new-comer, and reconnecting with old friends. Then… bravely open up about yourself or invite an acquaintance to lunch. If you feel better afterwards, follow up with additional invitations. If you feel worse, move on, but don’t give up.
If you’re like most people, you often find yourself “in a mood” or feeling a strong emotion. While emotions usually have identifiable sources, the sources of moods are often unclear. Emotions tend to be brief while moods can be long lasting. Emotions have a variety of forms. Moods are more general (i.e.: good versus bad moods). Moods often influence emotions.
Researcher Marc Brackett has developed a “Mood Meter” to help clarify moods and emotions. He suggests that every mood has two primary dimensions: level of energy and degree of pleasantness. The graphic below depicts levels of energy from low to high on the y axis (vertical continuum) and degrees of pleasantness from unpleasant to pleasant on the x axis(horizontal continuum).
Moods which are low in energy and low in pleasantnessgenerally feel sad or apathetic. Those high in energy but low in pleasantness often produce anger, frustration, or fear. Moods which are high in pleasantness but low in energy tend to produce contentment, serenity, and ease. High energy/high pleasantness moods produce feelings of joy, happiness, and exhilaration. The following graph can help you identify your moods and emotions:
Individuals who can identify their moods and emotions are more likely to regulate them.
Dr. Thomas Swisher is a licensed counselor. Reach him in confidence at 443-996-6659 or swishtom@gmail.com.
Glad you have stopped by! As a licensed mental health professional and an attorney, my practice involves three very different areas. This site contains six sections or pages (See Menu at Top).
My Practice Areas Include:
Counseling – I maintain a private practice as an individual, couples, and family therapist. My goal as a therapist is twofold. First, I hope to help you reduce or extinguish whatever conditions in life make you uncomfortable. Second, my goal is to help you flourish and thrive as the unique individual, couple, or family you are. At our first meeting, we will discuss your overall goals for counseling and what approaches might work best for you. Click Here for Counseling Page
Mediation – As a mediator, I offer a Solution Focused Approach to resolving conflict. Much of my work is with couples who have decided to separate or divorce, but want to avoid the expense, time, and stress associated with a legal battle. In our first session, we will make a list of all the topics we need to create a legal document. This document is called a “Separation Agreement” or a “Parenting & Separation Agreement.” The list will cover topics like your children, finances, property, assets, residence, and much more. You can find a full list of issues in the Mediation section of this website. We will discuss each topic and when we are done, I will draft a legal document. You can review this document with anyone and we will modify it to meet your needs. Once you sign this document, it becomes a legally binding contract and will eventually become a divorce order when you seek an uncontested divorce. Click Here for Mediation Page
Professor – I began teaching in the Counseling & Human Services Department at Stevenson University in 2007. As a full professor, I developed and teach several courses including “Family Studies,” “Family Dynamics & Interventions,” and a course on “Positive Psychology.” I have several areas of research and publications which address “Positive Adaptation to Stress,” “Family Dynamics,” “Divorce & Separation,” and areas of Positive Psychology including “Thriving,” “Gratitude,” “Stress Related Growth,” and other fascinating topics. Click Here for Research & Publications of Dr. Swisher
The Videos Posted Throughout this Website Should Help You Consider the Myriad Topics I Address as a Counselor, Mediator, and Professor.
I look forward to chatting with you soon. You can reach me in confidence at swishtom@gmail.com or 443-996-6659. Until then, Be Well…
Genograms give individuals and families unique insights. The following video will help you explore the dynamics of your family of origin and the family you have created. It may also give you new insight into your own “way of being” and that of your loved ones.
In a college course I teach at Stevenson University on Family Dynamics & Therapy (HSR 430), I observe that every family is dysfunctional! Like the idiom, “Nobody’s perfect”, it’s a fact of life. Every family has some level of “dysfunction”.
Families also go through stages. Here they are:
Stage 1: Coupling – Two people join (often in marriage).
Stage 2: Having Children
Stage 3: Raising Pre-Teen Children
Stage 4: Teenagers in the Family
Stage 5: Launching Children & Empty Nesters
Stage 6: Midlife, Aging & Grand-Parenting
Stage 7: End of Life
Cultural influences, mental health issues, social expectations, financial worries, and individual circumstances are just a few additional factors which make “family life” a complicated but fascinating phenomena. My adult career has been focused on studying these phenomena.
I am a “FAMILY FOCUSED” therapist who also has a law degree. I am also a lawyer & mediator who is a counselor. I think you’ll find my focus and approach useful & transformative. For a free phone consultation, call me at (410) 750-2655.
Thomas K. Swisher, J.D., Ph.D. (443) 996-6659 